How would you rate these lyrics?

I like em! I'd personally make the second half more metaphorical, make the meaning something you have to dig more to find. But you have done a brilliant job of making the lines flow together. I'm uming this is for a rap song? at least, I could hear the lyrics being rapped in my head while I was reading them. which was cool. Overall they're really interesting, good message, just generally pretty awesome. nice job dude!